How to Cope When You Feel Like the “Black Sheep” of the Family

Jul 31

It’s not easy feeling like you don’t belong in your own family.
Maybe you think differently, live differently, or simply don’t fit the mold your relatives expect.

Being the “black sheep” can leave you feeling isolated, misunderstood, and sometimes even rejected.
But here’s the truth: your differences don’t make you wrong, they make you you.

Why You Might Feel Like the Black Sheep

You might relate if you:

Hold beliefs or values different from your family’s
Chose a lifestyle or career they don’t understand
Left a religion or community they still follow
Set boundaries they don’t like
Speak up about issues others avoid

Sometimes being different makes people uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Coping Strategies for the Black Sheep Experience

1. Reframe Your Role

Instead of “the difficult one,” try seeing yourself as the authentic one.
You may be the one bringing honesty, fresh ideas, and self-awareness into the family.

2. Find Your People Outside the Family

Build friendships and chosen family that accept and value you.
It’s easier to face family gatherings when you have a strong support system elsewhere.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

You’re allowed to protect your mental health, even if it means limiting certain conversations or visits.

4. Release the Need for Approval

Sometimes, you won’t get validation from your family.
Instead, work on validating yourself through self-compassion and celebrating your own growth.

5. Celebrate Your Differences

The things that make you different are often your greatest strengths—creativity, courage, independence.

You Don’t Have to Change Who You Are

Being the black sheep can be painful, but it’s also an opportunity to live authentically.
You deserve to be surrounded by people who see and value the real you.

At Found, we help clients navigate family dynamics, set boundaries, and build confidence in their identity—whether that means repairing relationships or creating new ones.

Offices located in Provo, UT | Online therapy across Utah

Addison Wimmer