How Come I Still Don’t Know Who I Am?

Maybe you grew up in a family or faith where your role was assigned: the “responsible one,” the “obedient daughter,” the “faithful son.” Maybe you never felt safe to ask: “What do I really want? Who am I outside of these labels?”

In adulthood, those questions often return, perhaps triggered by a life change, leaving a faith, coming out, or simply realizing the old scripts don’t fit anymore. But identity is like a moving target, and it changes as we age and experience life.

The Shame of “Too Late”

Clients often tell us, “I should’ve figured this out years ago.” But that shame comes from a culture that treats identity as a milestone to achieve, not a relationship to nurture. You’re not behind—you’re human. It is never too late to explore who you are or what you want. Your life is yours and yours alone. You get to be the one discovering it.

Embracing Identity as Ongoing

Identity isn’t a puzzle you solve once. It’s a story you keep rewriting as you grow. Whether you’re 25, 45, or 65, questioning who you are is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of life.

At Found, we create space for clients to safely explore identity: gender, sexuality, values, faith, and beyond, without the pressure of being “done.”

Offices located in Provo, UT | Online help available across Utah